IE 6? Just upgrade. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.


Zoey or Lilith…?

You’ve thought about playing Borderlands. But is it as good as Left 4 Dead? Once again we compare heroines to find out!

Weapon of choice: it burns!

Lilith crouched and firing an SMG
Maliwan Combustion Hellfire!
Zoey posed with pistols outs
Zoey with dual (black) pistols

The loots be mine! Borderlands is so full of loots it’s no competition. Of course, there’s something to be said for those ol’ dual pistols. Still, we gotta go with the SMG that lights enemies on fire. Pyro on steroids!

Wanted: witches!

Poster of Lilith: Wanted for conspiracy, witchcraft, theft and murder
Lilith: wanted for witchcraft
Zoey and witch spray on wall in L4D
Zoey and witch propaganda

Wanted for witchcraft and wanting the witch. So wrong.

Hey, that sounds like…

Monkey D. Luffy grinning
“I’m gonna be king of the pirates!”
Princess Peach looking surprised
“Did I win? Sweet!”

Pirates vs ninjas? The internets are undecided. But pirates vs princesses? I think we all know that’s going to end in tears!
Yep, it’s strange but true, the voice actors behind our two heroines voice the above characters as well.

Best quotes

Lilith Zoey
“Is there no end to my power?” “We are kicking a*s!”
“Mine, mine, aaaand mine!” “Guys! Big, badass, nasty weapons over here!”
“Hahahaha. I’m really good at this.” “We did it! Can you believe it?”
“Yes! Feel it!” “h**l YEAH!”
“Quit playing around, let’s move.” “Dude, I’m half your size! Get up!”
“Wait―that was it? It’s dead?” “Zombie, Francis! He. Was. A. Zombie!”

Where there’s smoke there’s fire

Lilith unleashes the phoenix fire ability
Burn like a phoenix for every kill
Zoey grimaces when Bill offers her a smoke
No thanks Bill, Zoey doesn’t smoke

More fire in borderlands. More fire for more win!

Best in lego

Lego Lilith with yellow repeater pistol
Lilith with a yellow repeater
Lego zombies surround the L4D characters
Lego L4D zombies scene

Lego left 4 dead is clearly ahead here. Li’l Lilith can’t compete with that. Now if there had been a h**l-burbia lego scene… but there isn’t.

So is Borderlands worth your dosh? (What is dosh anyway?)
If being able to loot and pillage your way through a backwater planet like Pandora is as important to you as it is to me, then yes 🙂

One pirate-ninja believer was mildly offended in the writing of this post.

7 Responses to “Zoey or Lilith…?”

  1. Ali

    Pirates vs ninjas?

    What about pirates AND ninjas (aka Chris).

  2. Pirate ninjas definitely make princesses cry.

  3. Ali
  4. tofu

    Alright. I can’t take it anymore. No more friggin weebls!! they freak me out. Also, it loops. Also, it can’t be paused. Also I keep watching in the mistaken assumption that the third time through it might defy all laws of physics and comedy and suddenly *become* funny. Also, the awful casio-pr0n “background” music is just loud enough to annoyingly blot out the carefully scripted “random” pseudo-dialogue and I feel like ultimately I’m watching deranged emanations from the crack-adled mind of a destitute Flash developer on an eleven day bender who’s realised that with the advent of HTML 5 he, his skillset and his ilk are now obsolete (and still not funny).

    There. I feel better now.

  5. See. What did I say about pirate ninjas?

  6. Ali

    OK, no more weebl links. Instead, here is a Portal reference.

  7. tofu

    Their best work yet. Nice recovery! I’m still not going to forgive them for the other million videos, or how ever many there are? I can’t tell, because the website is dreadful *grumble* *grumble*

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